Terrible twos?

Cohen is definitely two! And he is settling into the driving independence and selfishness that comes with this age. Therefore, I'm finding myself faced with a decision: do I drudge through our days succumbing to the view of this being the "terrible twos" or do I seek the adventure, challenge and teaching opportunities before me as my little guy grows in curiosity, independence, and comprehension? To be honest, it's a struggle and a daily choice. I find myself frustrated with his fits, disobedience and whining and then realize I missed an opportunity to practice patience and love in that moment. The truth is, he needs me to help him learn how to control his emotions, and if I can't control my own I'm doing him NO good. I see myself in him so much and long for him to learn early how to handle frustration and failure. I must cling to God's word, "His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." (2 Peter 1:3). He has equipped me with everything necessary to be the best mom for Cohen.

I must be honest in saying it is sometimes tough being a stay-at-home mom. Days run together and sometimes seem mundane, especially when Hector is away. These are the days that I grow weary, frustrated and honestly selfish. In light of this I have to recognize my own weakness and remain in the Lord and His strength. I also have to plan our days to include new experiences and adventures for Cohen and allow time away for my own refreshment and renewal. Whether it's working out, lunch with a friend, grocery shopping alone, or even a nap...I need time to regroup, refocus and refuel. My biggest enemy of this time is my own guilt. I feel guilty for leaving Cohen with anyone other than Hector (and even sometimes Hector). I'm Cohen's mom and I'm supposed to be his mom all day every day...right? God has shown me that although I'm convicted that my "job" right now is to raise Cohen, it's still o.k. and even important for me to take time for myself. He is gently showing me this even more in the midst of this new and trying age. In order for me to show Cohen patient and gentle love, even in discipline, I need to be rested and refreshed for each day. With this conviction I have also started giving the Lord the first 15 minutes of my day. My quiet times have gradually moved later in the day to coincide with Cohen's naps...the only true quiet during the day. :) I am NOT a morning person and waking at 7:30 is rough, so adding in time before Cohen wakes up for my quiet time has not happened. However, I have been convicted lately that the first half of my day would be much more glorifying to the Lord and Cohen would have a much more pleasant Mom if I would commit to giving Him my "first fruits," (ie: the beginning of our morning). So, I am now spending about 15 minutes in prayer for Cohen and our day before I get him up and then doing my Bible Study during his naptime. I have already noticed a difference in my attitude and outlook! The Lord is so faithful to redeem the time we give to Him! (I mention this maybe to challenge you but mainly for my own accountability.)

I am so grateful for this time to be home with Cohen and watch him grow and learn! He is putting together 3 and 4 word sentences and it blows me away. I'm so grateful to be sometimes the first to witness something new. I love watching his mind work. Yes, it is tiring and hard to remain consistent in every area I need to, but the rewards far out weigh the loneliness or frustration!