My journey

I wrote this on our previous blog and realize many who are reading now may not have read this and therefore have no idea what is wrong with my eye. So I thought I would just copy that post here for some background on my eye condition. Thanks again for all your prayers! I will be decreasing to 5 mg. this weekend!

October 7, 2010
"In my life personally I have been dealing with a condition called Iritis in my right eye. I was diagnosed with it in early August and still taking heavy medication for it. To be blunt, I’m done with it! I’m done being on steroids which are keeping me from sleeping well, making my skin dry, not being able to wear contacts, having one dilated eye and therefore not seeing clearly. At first, the doctors were unsure of the cause and therefore hopeful it would not return and be easy to treat. But, 4 doctors later and many trips to Emory Eye Center, lab tests have shown that I am HLA-B27 positive. This basically means I am now in a category of people who are more likely to get a certain group of auto-immune diseases; Iritis being one of them. The disheartening news is that the chances of this being a chronic problem are now more likely. I can’t even imagine dealing with this over and over again. I tried to slowly come off the oral steroids about a week ago and as I decreased, my symptoms returned. This was and is very overwhelming. I was praying hard that it was gone and I was on the mend. Not so, and now I’m back on a higher dose and going to try to decrease the dosage over the next 4-5 weeks.

Aside from the logistics and details of this condition, I have been seeking the Lord on His purpose in all this. To be transparent, I have always been healthy and if not, it’s only been for a time and I have been able to DO something to improve my health. With the results of the HLA-B27 test, I find myself completely powerless to improve my condition or prevent it from coming back. It is one of the most hopeless and helpless situations I have found myself. Yes, I can keep myself as healthy as possible by exercise, eating right and vitamins, but there is little evidence that lifestyle changes can decrease your chances of getting another one of these diseases or not having chronic Iritis. Therefore, I’m forced to totally put my trust in the Lord and depend on Him. For those who know me well, I like to be in control and there is just no way to be in complete control of this situation. And I’m being stretched! The Lord is reminding me that He is sovereign and in control of my life in every detail. He’s reminding me that my full dependence has to be on Him and He is the ultimate healer. But, I’m also learning that He may not chose to heal me and he may allow this to remain a part of my life as a constant reminder of my dependence on Him. And I have to be o.k. with that.

I am clinging to verses that affirm the Lord’s work in my life and trusting that He made no mistake when He created me. This one in particular I have found myself turning to often. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth.” (Ps. 139:13-15) There is peace and comfort in knowing He is in control, but I still have so many moments of fear and anxiousness. My favorite verse, Phil 4:4-7 has also taken on a new meaning and importance, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I guess I just needed some time to write and process some of this, but I also ask for your prayers. Like I said before, I am convinced that God is big enough to heal me completely. But, at the same time I have to also know He may not and I am still called to Rejoice and give Him glory in my life. I ask that you join me in prayer as I continue to heal physically and as the Lord continues to refine my heart. I pray He received the glory through it all! Thanks for reading and joining me on this journey of prayer and trust in a God who works everything for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose! (Rom. 8:28)."

Enjoying Daddy!

Hector has been home for about a month now, and Cohen and I are getting spoiled! We seem to get into a routine when he is traveling regularly, but when he comes home for long periods of time like this I sometimes take it for granted. I'm praying the Lord helps me savor this time and offer it back to Him as the source of everything good in our lives! I wanted to take a minute and share some of the reasons why I love having Hector home with us...

1. Mornings!! I love waking up to the sound of Cohen babbling away in his crib only to look over and have my sweet husband sleeping beside me. Not to mention the blessing of an extra pair of hands when preparing breakfast for our little man.

2. Freedom to run an errand or two while Cohen naps.

3. Meals together...there's something extra sweet about sitting down together for dinner more than one night a week.

4. Evenings together on the couch after Cohen goes to bed...even if we are both on our computers.

5. Being able to relax while grocery shopping instead of rushing up and down aisles before Cohen hits his breaking point!

6. Watching he and Cohen play together...even though it is usually rough and loud.

7. Help...help with the laundry, help with the dishes, help changing diapers, help getting Cohen ready to go somewhere, just help.

8. Worshiping together on Sundays. This is rare when he is traveling, but it's so sweet when he's home.

9. NOT being attached to my phone all day waiting for his call

10. Freedom to take a shower when I want...not just during naps or after bedtime.

11. Someone to share in the frustrations and the joys of day-to-day life with an almost 2 year old.

12. Laughter...Hector has a special way of bringing lots of smiles and laughter to our home!

There are so many more I could name, but these are a few of my favorites. I'm so grateful for a husband who is fully involved when he's home. He shares every responsibility and is truly my helpmate! I am able to spiritually, physically and emotionally take a deep breath when he comes home. When we have extended opportunities to live life together like we have lately I feel like I'm able to experience, first hand, how God intended marriage and family to work. Therefore, you can imagine how much he is missed when he's gone. But, until God calls Hector to something else we will be grateful for the time he has home and trust His sufficient grace to carry us through the busy days of traveling.

Short Update on my eye

I have briefly updated our Prayer Request page with an update on my eye. Thanks for all the continued prayers!

Christmas 2010

Well, as promised here is my post on Christmas. This year was sweet and special as it was Cohen's first real Christmas that he was able to get in to. Last year, we had to help with opening presents and he wasn't really aware of the season. This year, he needed no assistance with presents and took in every bit of the season as for the first time. His fascination with all the lights("yites"), trees("tees"), stockings("tockings"), snowmen("nomain") and Santas was precious. We also got him his own little nativity set, and it was so neat to see him learn who Joseph, Mary, & Baby Jesus were. Here is a short video of him playing with it in his sweet 22 month old way.



I look forward to him understanding the incredible meaning behind those small little characters and the amazing gift that little Baby was to this world.

Our Christmas involved a little more travel than usual this year, but we are SO thankful to have both sets of family within 2 hours of each other. We alternate Christmas and Thanksgiving with each family each year, and this year it was our turn to go to Hector's family for Christmas. They do most of their celebration on Christmas Eve, but we headed over on the 23rd to enjoy some extra family time. It was a great time of relaxation, good food, lots of laughs, presents and enjoying their REAL fireplace. We also were able to witness our niece, Morgan, get baptized and dedicated at their church on Christmas Eve. It was a sweet service led by their childrens choir. Cohen did great and loved watching all the kids sing while dressed up as shepherds and angels. Since the baptism was at 4 we had our Christmas Eve lunch before the service. Hector's parents got an electric fryer before Thanksgiving and wanted to try something new. So we had fried Cornish hens which turned out great! I made a light celery and pear salad to add to the other rich and delicious sides and a mint chocolate chip cheesecake for dessert. It was my first cheesecake but turned out pretty good! Here are a couple pictures from our time with his family.

After a late night of presents and too many desserts, we got up and headed to my parents house for Christmas day. Thankfully the roads weren't too bad as we traveled, but we got to their house just in time to see the first layer of snow covering their yard and house and watched it continue throughout the day. It was beautiful! Cohen saw snow last year but again this was his first real experience with it. He wasn't too sure at first, but it didn't take long for him to be playing in it and helping build our first snowman. Daddy and Papa did all the hard work, but Cohen helped as much as he could. Our Frosty turned out pretty good, I think. We were so thankful for such a pretty Christmas snow! We spent the afternoon just hanging out and playing games while Cohen napped. For dinner my mom made her traditional prime rib, and it was wonderful. My brothers weren't able to make it up this year, so we had a smaller celebration and missed them and their families! We are so blessed to have such wonderful families on both sides who make holidays so much fun! Here are a few pictures of our time with my parents and a short video of Cohen's first snowman.

Cohen got lots of great new toys...legos, a basketball hoop, his first Thomas the Train set, a toddler chair and beanbag, and much more. It was so much fun experiencing Christmas through his little eyes as he was so excited about everything. We were blessed with a wonderful Christmas. I pray the Lord was honored in our celebration! I'm still praying about and searching for ideas on how to keep even Christmas day more focused on Him. I pray you and your families were blessed as well not with gifts and food, but with a chance to reflect on Christ and the gift He is to us all year long!